Aankhon Mein Jiski Hai Tere Khaak-e-Qadam Ki Qadr, Ikseer Ki Jahaan Mein Usko Talab Nahi

The desire to witness the spectacle of metal turning into gold and the miracle of the dead coming back to an immortal life have been at the heart of mankind’s pursuit of the elixir also known as the philosopher’s stone.

I can say with utmost conviction that I have lived the aforesaid transformations.

It was the year 2016 and Mufaddal Moula TUS was in Karachi for Syedna Taher Saifuddin’s RA milaad when I first got a glimpse of Moula in person. Taken along by my mother for the bethak I was lumbering behind her with a broken and bleeding toe amidst a massive crowd of women crying.

Hesitant, confused, and wanting to slip out of the queue at the first possible chance, I somehow reached the bethak. As I looked up to Moula, my eyes met his warm gaze and I froze.

The elixir was in effect. My life changed.

Fast-forwarding to 16th September 2017, Moula was in Karachi for Asharah Mubarakah and I was heading to Burhani Mahal for the bethak; however, this time with eyes full of tears, heart exploding with the desire to acquire the sight of his beaming countenance, and every inch of my existence willing to swim oceans and walk scorching deserts to get a touch of his hands.

This was not me. I was unable to comprehend what was happening to me. It was the elixir-pull.

As I neared Moula, I sobbed. Unlike the norm of salaam, I clasped both the arms of Moula and cried: “moula mein aapne nai choru, jab tak aap nahi kahenge ke aap mere ghar aaenge”.

The dealings of the bethak came to an impromptu halt.

Moula responded with a sparkling grin as I remained in the same state and repeated the very words for a fine ten to fifteen seconds.

As I walked back, the reactions on the faces of the people around Moula made me realize that I might have landed myself in hot water and that I will never be allowed to be in this place again.

Regardless, somehow, I was at the bethak again the very next day with my mother.

I was standing at a side in the hall eagerly hoping no one would remember me from the previous day when a behnsaab approached and asked me to get in the qadambosi queue. I hesitated initially as I did not want to be in the spotlight again after creating a scene less than twenty-four hours ago but submitted myself into the line upon insistence.

As I neared Moula, I saw the smile on his face widening, and making use of that, I voiced: “Moula mein aapko remind karwane aayee hun ke aapko mere ghar aana hai”.

The buzzing in the hall fell into complete silence as everybody stood in shock and awe.

Moula nodded and I bolted out of the hall.

On the 8th of October, Sunday, I was informed that Moula wished to visit my house. He remembered, was my first reaction to the news. As we scrambled to make preparations, I felt the house was grooming itself for Moula’s visit.

When I saw Moula walking towards my house, I broke down in tears in front of him and he stated: “pehla din awi ne mane kidu hatu ke mara ghare padharo, mein awi gayo”.

The next fifteen minutes seemed like a lifetime. We poured our hearts out to him in form of words, tears, and emotions. He listened to all of it, perceived the unsaid, and placed his haath mubarak on us assuring we need not worry as he is always going to be there.

Just before Moula was about to leave, he looked at me as I had my gaze fixated on him. My heart was crying a lot that I could not bring to words but I could perceive Moula was hearing it all.

At that moment, with tears running down my face and hands folded, I uttered: “I love you so much Moula”.

With moist eyes and a warm smile, Moula looked at me as a father would regard his daughter who has come back to life from death.

What is an elixir? The answer rests below.

Mufaddal Moula arriving at Amatullah (Ambreen) Behn’s house.

The image is the exclusive property of the contributor and Tazkerat, and may not be copied, printed or otherwise disseminated without permission.


Behn Amatullah (Ambreen) Fakhruddin Bhai Valika

Karachi, Pakistan


In the means of shukr and zikr, anyone who is willing to share his/her’s acquaintance, incident or any experience with Moulana Muqaddas RA or Moulana Mufaddal Saifuddin TUS can mail it to dm@tazkerat.org & md@tazkerat.org

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